Monday, April 16, 2007

If you're in a good mood, you probably want to skip this post

Life sucks.

I hate to be a downer, but this is where I've been for a little while now and just getting it out has to be better than trying to act like everything is okay.

My Husband has been working non-stop for what feels like months now. I feel like a single parent to two wonderful boys...the only good thing in my life as it stands right now.

Eventually, they are going to hate me, because I have been just a raging bitch for the last few weeks. I'm just praying that I don't screw them up too badly because they really are some of the sweetest kids that you'll ever meet.

Kelly and I have gone through this every year of our marriage, but for some reason this year feels so much worse. I don't see him anymore. A "goodbye" in the morning is pretty much all we have anymore. We're not even roommates...roommates see each other more than we do.

I still love him, but I just don't know him anymore. I've tried to be supportive, but all I feel is anger, resentment, and overwhelmingly.....lonely.

It's 10:37pm, and he's still at work. At least I figure he is. I haven't talked to him since around 4:30 when he informed me that he couldn't make it to Colin's t-ball game. Just another let-down in a long list of let-downs.

My effing toe is hurting again, badly. I think I re-injured it the other day when I stubbed it on something. Forget having some time off to take care of myself though...all I do is take care of everyone else.

Yeah. My life sucks.

I guess it'll bounce back eventually. Normally it does, but God knows it sure doesn't feel like it will right now.

I'm off to take a vicodin and drink a beer. At least I can forget about everything for a little while that way.


OneHungMan said...

Amen sister. Being a single parent, even though you're still married is worse than being a real single parent.

BethGo said...

Oh man. I can totally relate. My husband just started a new job and we barely see him lately. AND when I do see him, he is either working more at home or just so exhausted, he rolls his eyes and zones out if I even attempt to speak to him.
It sucks.
I'm just hoping it all gets back on track soon for all of us.

Melissa said...

Just wanted to send some hugs your way and let you know I'm thinking of you!

Mike said...

I guess you have to experience how life sometimes sucks to know that life is most of the great. Just like knowing black before you can appreciate white.

You'll bounce back.