Today is one of those days when I wonder what the heck it is that I've gotten myself in to.
I love my boys. I appreciate and realize HOW lucky and blessed I am to have them, that they are healthy and happy, and that I am able to stay home with them.
It's just that today I feel like I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
I can't stand it when the little things get to me. When I barely have to patience to get my three year old dressed. When the thought of having to find something else to wear to church tonight because the weather has gone from 30 degrees to 68 over the course of the day drives me to tears. When I can't just let go of the little things and enjoy my family and I'm constantly nit-picking everything.....UGH! I am NOT this person.
I've had other times like this and they all seem to revolve around Kelly's busy times at work, when he's home very little. Lord knows I've got it easy compared to the military wives out there, so I hate to admit it...but I'm just having a really rough time right now.
The problem is that it's only going to get worse. December will probably be a little easier than that last few weeks, but once January hits....busy season is on. Any other accounting "widows" out there who know what I'm talking about?? It will be that way through March or April.
We always manage to make it through the busy times, but it's never easy. In this state of mind though....I just don't see how I'm going to do it this year.
We don't have any family that is close enough to help out, so it's just us. I'm thinking that I might need a babysitter to come to the house maybe two days a week for a couple hours...just to take some of the pressure off. To watch the boys and play with them while I go to the grocery store, or cook dinner, or do laundry.
It's amazing how much better I feel when I don't feel like ALL of the responsibility is on my shoulders.
We have to make it work. I just don't know how we're going to.