SANTA!!!!!

Here is our 2006 visit to Santa.

It's amazing how kids change their idea of him over the years. For Colin, we went from indifference, to being terrified of him, to this year. When he saw him, he RAN into his arms and gave him one of his very best hugs that are normally reserved for Grammy and Daddy. The Santa was really, REALLY, nice about it, and took a great deal of time with him. We were lucky that there was no one behind us in line, I'm sure that helped.

I can't get over how little Landon looks in the picture. He seems so "babyish" in it, but so grown up in person (well, as grown up as a 15 month old can be anyway). He was pretty indifferent to Santa himself...more fascinated with the Christmas tree and decorations around him. I guess next year he'll move to the terrified stage.

Colin looks like he's going to bust with that huge GRIN on his face.

Too funny!

I can't believe I forgot!!!

WOOOO-HOOOOOO!!!

The Gamecocks FINALLY beat Clemson!

(Okay, got that out of my system.)

I went to USC for 2 years (okay, let's be honest. I partied at USC for 2 years before I got serious and transferred to an all women's college and finally focused on the REAL reason I was paying that heinous amount of tuition) and Kelly has both his undergrad and graduate degree from USC. I don't think we ever really went to a USC vs. Clemson game that we *really* thought we would win...but we finally DID!

THAT, was a great come back!

Today was a great day

Even though all of the men in my house are sick...I actually had a pretty good day, which is nice to say, because I haven't been able to in a while.

I'm over my sickness (HAAAALELUJAAH!).

I was pretty "green" until last night when my appetite kicked in finally. Colin, unfortunately, barfed all night Friday night. I don't think that he has the same thing I did though, because he's been running a fever. The vomiting stopped early Saturday morning, but the fever has continued until today. We're heading to the Doc tomorrow, just to make sure it's not bronchitis again. I think Landon also has an ear infection because he's stopped eating, and we know that he cannot do that! Kelly also has a sinus infection and is on 4000 mg's of Augmentin a day! If that doesn't kill it, I don't know what will. His Doc must have decided to pull out the big guns this time around.

Oh, the joys of winter!! It would at least be worth it if we had snow! Not a chance of that any time soon though.

So, we'll shift gears again, and get back to my great day.

It started with my Hubby staying home with the sicklings and me heading to church all. by. my. self. I have to be honest, it was a little awkward. I'm not used to carrying a small purse and not having to tote a 20 pound toddler everywhere I go. It was nice though. It felt like the message was written just for me too. Funny how God works that way.

I was going to head to lunch with some friends (upon Kelly's insistence before I left for church), but decided to call home and check on the boys before fully committing. When I heard both kids crying....ahem...SCREAMING in unison in the background, I decided I should cut him a break and head on home to relieve him. We went to Panera for a late lunch, and believe it or not, every sick "kid" (including the 32 year old) ate a decent amount of food. It's amazing what getting out of the house will do for you.

We came home and I got everyone situated for naps (including the "oldest"), and while they slept, I went shopping.

HUH???

That's unheard of!

TWO trips away from the house. ALONE....in one day!???

Hell must have frozen over! Hehe, just kidding, but I have to admit it was nice!

Of course, I didn't go shopping for me. Are you kidding? I headed to a used book store to try and use up the $175.00 worth of credits I got from emptying out our guest room dressers when we de-cluttered (yes, I did used to have time to read, and enjoyed it. I didn't realize how much though). I found a few for the boys and then headed to the grocery store to buy the necessities for "Mommy's magic soup", and then came on home.

Luckily, I had *just* missed Landon waking up from his nap with his first poop in 2 days (HUUUUUGE!), so I got to love all over him after Daddy took care of the mess. (Insert big evil grin here.)

Not only did I make chicken corn chowder tonight, folks, I even made chicken noodle soup...from SCRATCH! My boys are going to be better in no time if I have anything to do with it.

Two things to note:

1. I think the zoloft is working

2. Do you think this has anything to do with the fact that I had about 3 Doctor Peppers today? Gotta LOOOOVE that caffeine!!

(Anyone have any suggestions on how to get to sleep now?)

Recovering from Thanksgiving...literally!

I would have to say that this year's Turkey day will have to go down as the worst ever in my life.

Oh, there was a beautiful turkey, with dressing, and mashed potatoes with gravy, and all of the wonderful side items that go along with it, but I didn't get to enjoy one bit of it.

You see, I awoke at 3:00 am on Thanksgiving morning, not to put the turkey in the oven, but to puke my guts out, over and over and over again.

Yep, I was throwing up from 3:00 am until about 12:30 pm, and nauseous until I went to bed around 6:00. Ick.

This happens to me every now and then because of my allergies, and luckily, this year, my lovely body decided to hit me with it on Thanksgiving. Usually I recover once I'm up and moving around the next day, but for some reason, it didn't happen that way this time.

Thank the LORD for my husband and my Mother! My Mom did every bit of the cooking, and my Hubby cleaned the entire house and managed the boys. I was sure that I would be okay for dinner in the afternoon, so we didn't cancel the invites to my Husband's friend and his family. Luckily, they understood when I couldn't eat with them and had to go lie down. I was able to vist for a little while, but I know I looked just as "green" as I felt.

I'm feeling OH so much better today, something that I am OHHH so thankful for! Sleeping from 6:00 pm until 10:00 am the next morning helped with that. I was even able to have my turkey with all of the "fixin's", so maybe we can say my Thanksgiving was just a day late....and boy was I thankful!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Just wanted to say I hope you all have a GREAT DAY!

We'll be home. I'm cooking a 20 pounder tomorrow (I guess I'd better get my butt to bed so I can get up to get it going in the morning!). We're having my Mom, her fiance', and a friend of Kelly's from work and his family (wife and 2 kids). It should be fairly laid back.

It's funny. When I think about tomorrow and having guests, I know that this will be so much less stressful, because they aren't all family.

Sad but true. I love my family, but we are much better family when there is distance between us.

Anyway...I hope you all have a wonderful day remembering all of the things that you're thankful for! I'll be spending it with those that I love more than anything in the world...my Hubby and my 2 boys.

I'm off to bed....sweet dreams everyone!

What is with these celebrity idiots?

First we have Mel Gibson spouting off at the mouth with his anti-semitism, and now Kramer is a freakin' racist??

What is wrong with these people that they think they can act and speak in a way that is degrading to ANYONE and not get some kick back?

Are they so rich and famous that they can do anything to anyone and get away with it?

Ummmm...no.

Needless to say, this guy's career is probably coming to a screeching halt.

Hopefully you're Seinfeld royalties are keeping you afloat Kramer, because I would say you're probably going to be out of the stand up business for a while.

What Have We Created???

I think we're in for it.

Driving to pre-school this morning, Colin says to me, "Mommy, we need to get new wheels for your car".

I said, "Why do we need new wheels for my car baby?"

"We just do. That car over there has new wheels."

I looked and couldn't see anything.

I then said, "New wheels for cars are usually pretty expensive, maybe you should talk to Daddy and ask him what he thinks about buying something that expensive."

Here it comes......

"I like expensive things Mommy."

Yep, we're definitely in for it.

Scared...

So...anyone wondering why I disappeared for a little bit last week? Well, part of the answer to that question is; I started taking zoloft tonight.

I'm scared shitless, a little relieved, and pretty much don't know what to expect.

I hope and pray that this is going to be a good thing for me. I've been having some issues coping with Kelly's busy work schedule, and pretty much just life in general. I found that I was basicly going from one necessary task to the next, to the next, to the next, and so on. I couldn't find any joy in my family, in my kids, or in my life any more. Even though I have two of the most beautiful children on the planet. Everything just seemed to turn in to one task after another.

I just couldn't keep living that way. So, I called the Doctor.

I'm hoping and praying that the medicine will help me to stop and take an inventory of all of the wonderful blessings that I have in my life. That it will allow me to see and DO what is really truly important, and that things will just in general...get "better".

So, that's "it" in a nutshell. I realize that medication isn't a miracle cure, but I hope that my days will seem much brighter soon.

We shall see.

MIA

Sorry I've been MIA the last week or so.

I'm back, and I have tons of half finished posts that I may or may not publish. It's been a rough week for me, which is why I didn't want to publish what I had written. Who wants to hear about all of the poop going on in my life right? lol...you guys probably!

I will update, but I just don't have time now. It's actually one of the posts in my "unfinished" archive.

Luckily, things are looking up, so I'll be back for GOOD...hopefully. You never know, I could get run over by a truck tomorrow morning..hehe!!

Question.

Have most of you already switched to Blogger Beta? Is it worth it? I've heard of many people having problems after they switched, so I've been hesitant to do so. Let me know what you think...If it's a "good thing" then I'll go ahead and do it.

Oh...the kids are good, Hubby is good. I have some great pics of Landon and his first haircut last weekend that I'll hopefully get up shortly. That kid is such a trip! NOTHING phases him!

I hope everyone is well and looking forward to some yummy turkey and dressing...MMMMM, I can't wait!!

Andria, I think I'm going to try out your baked pineapple recipe. I can't WAIT, it sounds so yummy!

Welcome to the world baby Sarah!!!!

I just wanted to congratulate my amazing friend Rebecca, her hubby David, Big sister Rachael, and Angel Sister Katherine on the birth of Sarah this morning.

From the time Rebecca's water broke and the time she was born at 10:18am, it was only ONE hour and 48 minutes! Can you say S-U-P-E-R WOMAN??

Congratulations my dear friend...this is truly an answer to many, many, prayers!

Much love from my family to yours!

Thinking of my friend Jennifer and her daughter Sydney

I just found out that Sydney, who will be 5 next week, has been diagnosed with juvenile diabetes.

Wow.

She's okay, and thank GOD for mother's intuition, because that is the only thing that kept something really serious from happening. Jennifer really can't place her finger on what "told" her something was wrong, but she acted on her suspicions and they were proven true.

Sydney's Dad, is diabetic as well, so they used his glucometer to test her sugar on Sunday night, and it was off the scale. Off to the hospital they went. She's now on 4 insulin shots a day, regular blood sugar tests, and of course, a modified diet.

Please just say a prayer for them if you have a moment. I can't imagine how to explain something like this to a little girl who is so...well, so little. She's a sweetheart too, Landon's little "mommy" whenever we're out playing with the neighborhood crew.

Please remember Mommys and Daddys, that little nagging voice that's there in the back of your head...it's there for a reason.

Always follow your gut when it comes to your children.

That's my PSA for the day.

Sidebar **Edited**

Okay, so does anyone have any idea why the heck all of my links are now at the BOTTOM of my blog when I haven't changed anything???

Hmmmm...I'm at a loss.

Thanks so much Mike...YOU ROCK! That's exactly what the problem was.

I'll make sure to shorten my shows of frustration from here on out.

House Hunting; NOT for the faint of heart

I think that my Husband and I may kill each other before this is over.

This truly, I mean TRU-LY sucks.

At least I have learned something through this experience (which, mind you, is totally different now that we have two children in tow). I am the optimist of this relationship, and HE is the pessimist.

Whenever we look at a house, or a neighborhood, I seem to point out all of the things that are nice about it (unless of course, it is totally WACKED, and we have seen some of that), wheras he starts off focusing on anything and EVERYTHING that may be wrong.

Now I ask you....is it ever possible to find 100% of what you want and like in a home or a neighborhood? EVEN IF you buy property, and pick out a floor plan, and build from the ground up....is it possible? I don't think so. Granted, if we had $1,000,000 to buy a home, this might not be so hard, but our budget is a great deal smaller than that.

There are non-negotiables which we both pretty much agree on, but other things that I FEEL we must be able to give and take on. He's not willing to do that at all. He wants it perfect, AND he wants it affordable. Of course, I would like that too, but I realize that it ain't gonna happen. (So wait...does that now make HIM the optimist and me the pessimist??)

I don't care...just call me CRAZY, 'cuz that's how I feel!

AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

I did find the perfect house today...it's only about $200,000 outside of our budget.

Just to make sure you understand.

This sucks.

GUESS what movie we bought today?

Love it, and love the song too!

"Mommy, that boy has girl hair"

Today was a pretty good day. We had a little bit of a rough afternoon because Landon refused to nap. It only took one good upside down giggle (on his part, that is) to realize why he gave up on his precious sleep and that boy LOVES his sleep (I only wish that was the case when he was an infant).

A MOLOR is beginning to break through. Poor little kid. He has 5 teeth on top now, and still 2 little ones on the bottom. I guess there isn't a clear cut rule as to how they get them, because I've never been able to predict which ones will come next.

I opted to take the kids out for a quick and easy dinner since our afternoon routine was pretty much shot. Kelly, of course, had to work late, so it was just me and my fellas. Both of the boys LOVE waffles, so we headed to Waffle House. I guess they're all over the US, but if you're not familiar with the restaurant, it's a 24 hour, greasy food joint, but their waffles are TO DIE FOR. I was in the mood for a patty melt and my usual hashbrowns, scattered, smothered (onions), and covered(cheese) (YUUUUMMMMM!).

We sat down and ordered, and all the while, I was responding to Colin's normal smattering of questions and comments:

"Mommy, why is the waitress over there on that side of the wall?"

"Mommy, look at the light (a large round one), it looks like the MOON."

(The waitress comes by and brings our food.)

"Mommy, how do they get back behind there to make the food?"

Next comes the kicker.

Remember, this is a 24 hour joint, in the SOUTH.




"Mommy, (referring to the cook), why does that boy have girl hair?"





Thank GOD, we already had our food.




Now, if any of you have a 3 year old. You understand, that the voice of said 3 year old knows NO level of refrain, even when said 3 year old is talking about a person who is about 10 feet away from them.

Translation: EVERY. ONE. HEARD HIM.

Nice.

You just don't realize what you will have to deal with when you become a parent do you, but it sure makes life interesting.

Kyle's Story

This is heartwrenching.

Colin is currently in a booster seat.

I think that is going to change after seeing this video.

Have I ever mentioned that I *really* dislike the Fall and Winter??

It's freakin' 5:45 pm and it's pitch black outside.

YUCK.

Halloween Pics!

Well, we started out the festivities the night before Halloween, by carving our pumpkins. That was not the original plan, but when Mommy forgets, that is a HECK of a lot better than trying to carve them Halloween night.

Here's Landon trying to figure out how the HECK he's going to get that entire pumpkin in his mouth.

Don't worry, he never did.




Colin on pumpkin carving night. I know this picture is really fuzzy, but I just LOVE the look of sheer joy in his face!!

If there is anything in the world that will make you smile, it's seeing that look, or hearing the giggle that went along with it.

Love it.





Introducing, Colin the DRAGON (ROOOAARRRRR!) and his buddy, Dominic, the Ninja Turtle.

Colin was ALL in to trick or treating this year. We made it about half-way around the neighborhood before he puttered out. He drug poor Dominic with him the entire way. Sorry little buddy!







Please meet Landon the monkey.

Poor kid. I told you that he will eat anything, even a stuffed banana! Maybe he was just trying to act the part??

He did enjoy some M&M's that night. If only you knew me when...I don't think Colin had chocolate until his second birthday.

Metamorphosis

I am constantly in awe of how things change.

I look at my life now, compared to where I was 4 years ago, and I am amazed at how naive I feel I once was.

I look at my boys, and I'm shocked at how much I love them. How fiercly I would protect them from harm, from hurt, from anything that might tarnish their sweet, clear eyed view of our world.

I look at this world, and wonder if I've done the right thing bringing my boys in to it. In a way, I feel that my desire...my "need" to have children, over-rode my knowledge of the world that I destined them to be a part of. A world that will most likely let them down in some way, shape, or form.

I look at my Husband and my marriage. I remember how "easy" it once was. I remember people telling us that, "marriage is work", and thinking to myself, "nah..this is easy! We love each other and THAT is what matters".

It used to be easy.

I hate that I took those easy times for granted.

I see now, what people meant by, "marriage is work".

In the day to day grind of work, kids, bills, grocery trips, laundry, and all of the countless tasks that equal our lives....it seems like we've lost each other.

I don't mean that I love my Husband any less. Not at all. I just mean that, the ease with which we used to love each other, just isn't there any more.

We have to work to spend time together. We have to work to communicate. Hell, we even have to pay someone (a babysitter that is) so that we can have some alone time where we're not either asleep, or just dog-tired and cleaning up someone else's mess so we can then go to bed and go BACK to sleep.

I wish it could be easy again.

I miss my Husband. I miss my best friend that I married six and a half years ago.

I love my boys, and I would never change the fact that they are here, but I'm just trying to figure out how all of this works.

Is there ever enough time or energy for everyone? I want to be the best Mom I can be, but I also know that part of that includes being the best wife, partner, and LORI that I can be.

Why is it that so many Moms (and hey...probably even Dad's) sacrifice themselves for their children?

The reason that my children are here in the first place is because my Husband and I loved each other first. It kills me to think that in caring for them...in loving them....I'm losing or hurting the very reason that they exist. Something, someone, that I love very much, but I barely feel I know or can connect to anymore.

We go through our lives and take care of our priorities, but it seems WE, just aren't a priority anymore.

If anyone out there has it figured out. Please let me know.

It just seems like the cruelest of ironies.

Looks Like Some People Can't Take a Joke

Or take the time to read the rest of my blog.

You may want to start practicing what you preach my dear.

I certainly appreciate the irony.

School Pictures

Look at my handsome boys! LOL!

Colin looks like he's thinking..., "I've got you NOW sucker!"

Last year's Spring pictures turned out a lot better.

Colin had to be bribed with candy to sit for these. I think it was the matching vests. Even at 3, he knows that they're kind of cheesy.

Oh well, you can't blame a Mommy for trying, right?

I'm A Genius!!

I finally figured it out.

5 or more hours of sleep = A good day.

5 or LESS hours of sleep= A not so good day.

Now, if I could only solve this insomnia problem that I have.

An Afternoon At The Mall

It's pretty cold outside today, at least for the south. We actually had to wear jackets believe it or not.

I decided to get us out of the house so that we all wouldn't go crazy. We ran up to the mall and grabbed a bite to eat and then decided to run over to the play area where the kids always have a great time. Landon loves it because he gets to run around like one of the "big boys". I love it because it's closed in, and he can't get that far away from me.

It's a cess-pool of germs, so needless to say, I brought my stash of anti-bacterial wipes with me and put them to good use.

I know that there are fewer pictures of Colin, but at this stage in his life, he runs from the camera screaming, so I'm lucky that I was able to get at least one really good one.

(oh the exciting times of a stay at home mom and her boys right?? Hey, at least they're darn cute!)

Tag! I'm it...you may be next!

Thanks Andria!

I needed something to get my mind off of yesterday's crappiness.

So, here is my mission, and yep...I've accepted!

This mission, if you choose to accept it, is to list nine weird things about yourself and then tag nine more people to do the same, so watch out, you might be next.

1. I have extra sensitive hearing. The high school spanish classes that I taught hated it! It's not much fun at all now,though, with two young children and lots of noisy toys at home. I have worked long and hard with Colin to walk "softly" through the house (we have all hardwoods downstairs), He even runs softly. Landon's new favorite past time is screeching, so, we're working on a lower decibal version of it so he can still have fun, and not drive his Momma crazy.

2. I have a little bit of a hoarding tendency. I never realized it until I saw an Oprah show on it. Thank GOD I'm not as bad as the woman she had on there (she wouldn't clean up the dog poop on her floor! ICK!), but I still have what could be a slight problem (at least for our counter space anyway). I can't stand to throw out advertisements, catalogs, and magazines. I have this, "what if I ever want to look at it or read it" thought, and it just tears me up to throw the damn things out. I'm getting better at getting rid of them now, since I see my tendencies. Thank goodness my anal retentive Hubby balances out that side of me too. I think it's true that opposites attract!

3. I joke about being a germ-a-phobe, but truly, TRULY...I worry about germs and my kids. Every time I am at Target, I stock up on wet ones, antibacterial wipes, and I am constantly wiping down high chairs, tables, and my children's hands. I wash my hands at every opportunity, and I have Colin wash his any time he can. I'm sure I can't prevent all illnesses in my kids, but I'll be damned if I won't try. I'm not OCD, but the thought of germs just icks me out.

4. I sleep with four pillows. It started out as two, one under my head and the other on top of my head. I pull the covers right up under my chin and make a "breathe hole", and that's how I sleep. When I was pregnant with Colin I added the other two. I started sleeping with one between my legs and another behind my back, and now I can't sleep any other way. You really have to look to find me in the bed. It's a hoot. Oh, my poor husband.

5. I have the same hoarding tendency with pictures of my kids. I buy those big packages at the picture place to give them away to family and friends, and then I have to FORCE myself to do it! It's nuts! Why would I need to keep 5 different sizes of the exact same photo right?

I think I need therapy.

6. My second to the last little toe on both feet is shaped really funny. It's really skinny where it attaches to my foot, and then curves and gets really fat towards the end. It runs in my family, so at least I know I'm not adopted (DARN!)

7. I'm really funny about who I will let watch my kids. We had our first babysitter for both children (meaning both were up and had to be put to bed by the babysitter) one week ago. I don't know if it means I'm just *that* controlling, or if I am simply incessently worried about my boys. Other than that, it's been my Mom who watches them for us. She just can't do it at the drop of a hat though, because she lives a good hour and a half away.

I'm vowing to use a babysitter more often. I need it for my sanity, and our marriage needs it so we can actually have some quality time together.

8. I have dreams about going back to college and flunking out even though I already have a degree. I'm always either showing up for class and it's a big exam day (and I have NO IDEA what on), or I am at the graduation ceremony and I haven't been to one single class, ever.

Think I have issues with failing at something??? Hmmmmm.....

9. I can't spend more than $20 on something without putting myself on a horrible guilt trip. I think I'm getting better at it, but I used to "piddle" my money away on unsubstantial things because I couldn't get over the "$20" issue. Weird.

So...those are just a few of the things about me that are a little odd.

Whew...that was cathartic!

I'm tagging the following people: Gina , Melissa, BethGo, Peggie, and Mike.

Yep, I'm a loser. I think those are the only five people who actually read my blog (other than you Andria, but I think it wouldn't be fair to tag ya again!) :)

Hey, if you do read and lurk, and you want to be tagged, just let me know! You'll be next!

Getting it out...(update: tmi warning!)

Ummmm, yeah.

I started my period.

No nasty, bitchy woman comments k?? ( 'cuz at this point I might reach through the computer and rip your head off if you do.)

It sucks to be hormonal, but nice to know I won't feel this way forever

whew!

Getting it out...

Today is one of those days when I wonder what the heck it is that I've gotten myself in to.

I love my boys. I appreciate and realize HOW lucky and blessed I am to have them, that they are healthy and happy, and that I am able to stay home with them.

It's just that today I feel like I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

I can't stand it when the little things get to me. When I barely have to patience to get my three year old dressed. When the thought of having to find something else to wear to church tonight because the weather has gone from 30 degrees to 68 over the course of the day drives me to tears. When I can't just let go of the little things and enjoy my family and I'm constantly nit-picking everything.....UGH! I am NOT this person.

I've had other times like this and they all seem to revolve around Kelly's busy times at work, when he's home very little. Lord knows I've got it easy compared to the military wives out there, so I hate to admit it...but I'm just having a really rough time right now.

The problem is that it's only going to get worse. December will probably be a little easier than that last few weeks, but once January hits....busy season is on. Any other accounting "widows" out there who know what I'm talking about?? It will be that way through March or April.

We always manage to make it through the busy times, but it's never easy. In this state of mind though....I just don't see how I'm going to do it this year.

We don't have any family that is close enough to help out, so it's just us. I'm thinking that I might need a babysitter to come to the house maybe two days a week for a couple hours...just to take some of the pressure off. To watch the boys and play with them while I go to the grocery store, or cook dinner, or do laundry.

It's amazing how much better I feel when I don't feel like ALL of the responsibility is on my shoulders.

We have to make it work. I just don't know how we're going to.

The County Fair

Today was a beautiful day!

Finally, the sun decided to make an appearance (HALLELUJAH!). I think we really only had two blah days, but it's amazing how much you can miss that bright, hot, orb in the sky. In retrospect, it's also REALLY amazing how much it affects my mood. That, and the fact that my Hubby has been working WAAAAY too much the past two weeks.

Here's hoping that the mix of sunshine and adult interaction make for a much happier Lori over the weekend.

We decided to go on an adventure and visit the County Fair today. I, for one, used to love going to the state fair. I grew up in the state capitol, so it was something that I looked forward to every October.

I guess it's been a while since I've been. The boys had a blast, but I was pretty much overtaken with nausea by the time we left. The combination of pure sugar (cotton candy and a funnel cake shared with the boys and a friend) on an otherwise empty stomach, second hand smoke ( I feel like I smoked two packs of cigarettes with the amount I inhaled), and the exhaust from the rides was just overwhelming.

It's funny how a ten year break from something can really change your perspective.

I also forgot just how expensive the fair can be. I was ILL prepared financially and had to bum some money from the friends that we met there. Get this, tickets were pretty much $1 a piece, and then each ride was a LEAST 3 tickets per person. For all three of us to ride one ride it cost $9. Luckily, Colin was a *big* boy, and rode many of them all by himself. Landon and I did get to ride a few, so we weren't completely left out.

I think I was able to get some pretty good pics. I'll get them up as soon as I can.

Good News, Bad News

The good news to report:

Actually, the GREAT news is that Landon has gained some weight...WOO-HOO!!!! He went from 19 pounds 10 ounces to 20 pounds 2 ounces in two weeks. I guess I was doing something wrong huh? (mommy guilt! mommy guilt!) We'll just stick with the plan of shoving food into his mouth at every opportunity, and maybe he'll be back up to his "norm" soon.

The BAD news is this:

Kid #1: Landon STILL has an ear infection and he is on a new antibiotic. The very same one that gave us a RAGING case of thrush just a few short months ago. (JOY. At least we still have the medicine we need if it does sneak up on us again.) Plus, he's nursing a LOT less, so hopefully that will help.

If his ears don't improve in the next 2 weeks, then Dr. Cook is going to refer us to an ENT. I'm a little scared of the possibility of tubes, but if it helps him, then I'm all for it. I'm glad that the Doc is being assertive about his treatment too, and not just blowing it off.

Kid #2: Colin has a touch of bronchitis. He's wheezing a little bit, which I hadn't noticed (mommy guilt! mommy guilt!). I could tell, though, that his cough had gotten a lot worse. SOoooo, HE is on a Z-pack, and some kick ASS cough medicine. If his cough doesn't improve in the next 3-4 days, it will be breathing treatments for him.

I'm just praying that I can keep all of this medicine straight and not give the wrong stuff to the wrong kid.

Another job I didn't realize I had signed on for, pharmacist and 24 hour, on-call nurse.

They're my boys though....they're worth it.

Back to the Doctor Today

My stomach hurts.

We're going back to have Landon's ears checked since he finished his round of antibiotics last week. Too bad he's SICK again (along with his big brother).

Any of you Mom's and Dad's out there know what happens when your child gets sick? Yep. They don't EAT well.

I can only imagine what Dr. Cook's comment is going to be if and when we see that Landon has lost a couple of ounces.

UGH...the MOMMY guilt!!

Wish us luck.

Landon the Destroyer

Caught in the ACT!!!

Who knew that a drawer full of koozies, bibs, kitchen towels and a napkin ring (huh??) could be so much fun?















This is serious business, yo.
















Where's that damn napkin ring?

Rainy, Nasty, Day

Both of the boys are sick again. I swear we didn't even get a WEEK break this time! What a pain in the arse.

I do have some good news to report though. Hubby and I actually had a night out last night, and we HIRED A BABYSITTER....GASP!!! If you knew me in REAL life, you would realize what an accomplishment that is for me. I don't leave my kids with anyone except my mother or father and stepmom.

We attended a Young Life dinner with some friends from church and it was amazing! I was blown away by the speakers and the impact that Young Life has in the lives of kids today. If I ever get a life back (meaning when my kids are old enough and my Hubby actually can be home with them so I have a little free time for myself...YA right!), I'd love to volunteer with them. I think my background as a high school teacher would be helpful, and besides, I don't feel much older than 18, even though I'm 33 ( boy...that LOOKS old now that I've actually typed it!).

The sitter was a college aged teacher assistant from Colin's preschool. A really nice girl who Colin seems to like. He asked me all day over and over, when she was going to get there. Once she finally did, he pretty much tried to shove us out the door. It was great. Landon was a little shy at first, but when I carried him over to her, he reached to her with both hands and hugged her as hard as he could (um, am I in trouble later in life? Dumping their mother without a second thought??). I could have been sad, but it's nice to know that we now have a sitter we can trust, and someone that both of the boys like. Neither child flinched as we walked out the door (sniff, sniff).

When we got home, for some odd reason, EVERY single light was on in the house. I mean every light people. Maybe she's scared of the dark? I didn't ask. She said that she had a little trouble getting Landon down and that he cried for a little while. I realized why once she left and I went to peek in on him. She left the light on in his room! (maybe she transferred her fear to him?? Who knows.) Poor little fella....he's used to it being pitch dark, minus the little indiglo night-light we have in there. I made a mental note to ask her to turn it off next time around.

So, that's my less than exciting update to my less than exciting life. We rented some movies so we could stay in and avoid the rain for the rest of the day.

TV. It's a good thing.

The Laugh of The Day

Last week sucked.

Hubby was so busy at work that we barely saw each other, and the kids and I were ready for a change once the weekend rolled around. Luckily, Kelly only had to work all day Saturday, instead of both Saturday and Sunday. (Notice me trying to spin the positive instead of the negative...yeah, whatever.)

So....Sunday rolled around and needless to say, it was such a blessing to have Daddy home, but alas, I digress.

Landon started off the day by falling (that happens a lot to wobbly-walkers, not that I am a horrible mother) and getting a pretty nasty bump on his forehead.

This morning, as I was changing his diaper, I said, "Wow Landon, you have a bruise on your forehead from your fall yesterday".

Colin looked at me and said,

"A bruise?"


(*****drumroll please*****)


"On his three-head?"


?

(Get it?? "four" head??....... "Three" head"??)


?

Hey, for a three year old, I thought it was pretty good.

Maybe you just had to be there.

Earthquake in Hawaii??

I just found out about this! My Dad and Stepmom are vacationing there as we speak!!

My brother spoke to him this morning and they are okay. I'm waiting to talk to them and get the scoop.

This is definitely not something that I would normally worry about (and I can find some things to worry about!). I'm just glad that they're okay.

How freaky.

Three Year Old Question Of The Day

A little background (this may be a little "tmi" for some of you, consider yourself warned!)

I have nursed both of my boys. Colin weaned himself at 11 months, so no problem there. He went straight to drinking whole milk pretty much right away, so I considered it a smooooth transition.

Landon, on the other hand, LOVES to nurse! I think that he would probably nurse for the rest of his life if I allowed him to (he's definitely a BOOB man!). I planned to nurse him for a year initially and we made it that far and then some. He's down to nursing only in the mornings when he wakes up, and then at night right before he goes to bed.

I've often thought of weaning him, but considering that he's my last little one, the idea of it is bittersweet. I love the idea of having a little more freedom, but then it's such a special time for us to connect before and after our hectic days. It doesn't interfere with much of anything either because of the times that he does it, so we continue.

On to today.

We're at the mall, eating our lunch. Out of the BLUE (I mean, smack you in the face because you didn't expect it, out of the blue), Colin looks at me and says, "Mommy, why does milk come out of your boobies?".

I know that the people sitting in close proximity enjoyed the sweet tea that I consequently spewed out of my mouth in sheer surprise and embarrasment, along with the at length explanation as to why, "milk comes out of my boobies".

I guess I expected a question like that when Landon was born and I was nursing around the clock...but 13 months later??

Nice.

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's on the Market We Go!

Sorry I've been laying low the last couple of days.I've actually been pretty busy. Visiting with my Father who was in town, cleaning up the house, FEEDING my youngest child at every possible opportunity, and then writing every bite down in his food diary. Ugh....poor little kid. He's going to have nightmares of his Momma chasing him around with a spoonful of something for the rest of his life!

He's still eating just fine. I've basicly resigned myself to feeding him his 3 meals a day, and then aiming for two more snacks on top of that. I usually am able to get one in. I honestly think he'd rather sleep than eat....so maybe that's where our problem is. It's 8:48 in the A.M. and he's still snoring away. Maybe he's trying to make up for all of those sleepness nights when he was little?? I'm walking around in a foggy haze due to this cold that I have. YUCK! All the boys had it a week or two ago, so now I guess it's my turn to join in the fun. YIPPEE! (sniff)

We met with a realtor this weekend about selling our home. It went really well and once we get our front porch painted (yeah...small job right??), we will be listing it. I'm not looking forward to chasing my tail and trying to keep up with the wave of destruction that follows my youngest child in this house. In a matter of minutes, he can empty EVERY bottom drawer in the kitchen, pull out 50% of the toys in the toy box and toss them all over the living room, and shred a box of tissues so it looks like it's been snowing indoors. I usually just leave it to clean once the boys go to bed, but I guess that's not possible if we could have potential buyers coming in at any moment.

The house that we had fallen in love with is now under contract...by someone else that is. It sucks royally. I keep trying to tell myself that it, "wasn't meant to be", and that something else we like will come available, but we haven't seen anything yet. So why are we rushing to put our house up for sale you ask? Because the problem with the first one was that we HAD to have our house SOLD to buy it. I can just imagine us selling this one, and then having nowhere to go....

Oh the joys.

Uh, Oh....I'm one of THOSE people!

Okay. I admit it. I called. Yep. It was me, and I'm GLAD I did it.

Tell me if you would have done the same.

So, I'm sure that there is one gas station in town where you always stop for your quick fill up. Am I right? Well, there is one that I drive by, literelly, at least 6 times a day. This used to be my, "quick fill up" place.

Several months ago, I was standing by my car doing the usual pre-fill up routine of swiping my card, making my selections, and putting the gas nozzle in my car (all the while trying not to touch anything for more than a nanosecond...have I mentioned that I'm a germ-a-phobe??) and I take a second and look over at the building. Nothing too unusual was going on. Two of the employees were sitting by the side of the building chatting and having their smoke break. I sat in my car with the boys to wait for the usual "clunk" of the handle to get out and finish my transaction, and that is when I realized that there wasn't anything unusual going on...just something highly STUPID and dangerous! I saw one of the women sit down on a milk crate and noticed that behind them, there was a sign very similar to this one. Those idiots were leaning against the PROPANE TANK display while taking their smoke break....at the GAS STATION!!!

I guess I would normally have just blown it off and not given it a second thought, but there I sat, with my two young children in the car, next to a gas pump full of it's own highly flammable substance, not 40 feet away from them....and I got pissed!!

I don't really care that they were smoking, hey, if they want to pollute their lungs with tar and nicotine, that's their choice. Just DON'T do it and put me and my children in a dangerous situation...just to get your nicotine fix.

So, that day, I called the gas station and spoke to the manager. I explained to him that I thought it seemed like a dangerous situation, and MAYBE he should address it with his employees. He apologized profusely and said he would make sure that they smoked somewhere else. I guess I was dumb enough to believe him.

So. Friday afternoon. I was on empty, and I'm going by said gas station. I pulled in, stopped by a pump, and look up to see......guess....c'mon, can you guess?? Yep. Those idiots were smoking right next to the propane tanks again.

So. As I said before. I called. Yep.

I called the Fire Department.

As far as I'm concerned, any unknowing patron of that gas station is being placed in harm's way whenever they visit it as long as those idiots are allowed to keep taking their smoke break there. I mean, come ON!! Can't you just go to the OTHER side of the building and smoke?

I don't know exactly WHO I talked to at the Fire Department, but he was going to send an inspector out to talk to them, and also notify the patrolling officer in the area that it was going on and to be on the lookout for it.

Will it stop?? Who knows.

Will I ever buy gas there again? Nope.

Idiots.

Thank you for the vent. I feel much better now.

Fifth Percentile???

I ask you.

Does this look like a child who is lacking nourishment???
















Wednesday pretty much sucked.

Nice way to start a post huh?

Landon had his 12 month well baby check yesterday ( a month late due to our lack of insurance coverage b/c of Hubby's recent job change), and all started out routine. I knew that we might be looking at an ear infection because he's been Mr. snotty nose for at least a week now, but I thought that would be the worst news that we would hear.

Needless to say, when Dr. Cook looked at his weight, and checked his position on the growth chart with a concerned look on his face, I started to feel a little anxious. "How are his eating habits?" he asked. Well, "He eats like a horse at pretty much every meal", I responded. SOOoooo, we both were a little surprised that he falls in the FIFTH PERCENTILE for his age group. HUH???? He's also been on a decline for weight since he was 9 months old. He's gone from averaging in the 50th percentile for weight to the 25th at 9 months and then 5th percentile at 13 months.

So, he would like to see us back in 6 weeks to do a weight check.

I'm at a loss. What do I do to help my child gain weight, when he already eats as much as he possibly can at every meal? He LOVES his fruits and veggies too, so he's also not just eating crap.

The Doctor's suggestion? Make your mashed potatoes with real butter. WTF???

Don't get me wrong...I LOVE Dr. Cook, but that really doesn't give me that much to go on here.

My fear is that there is something else going on. What if something is seriously wrong with my baby? I guess I'll just do my best not to "go there" for now.

I've started a food diary for him, and I'm going to give him as many opportunities as I can to eat each and every day. I can't force feed the child though...My gosh! I KNOW the one thing that we're missing is milk. My child will not TOUCH the stuff! I've tried strawberry, chocolate, and now we're trying the drinkable yogurt from YoBaby, but still no luck. Maybe we'll just go to ice-cream? My goodness...he could use the fat and calories right?

If anyone out there in the blog world has any suggestions...I'm up for them. I just want my baby to be healthy and I'll do everything I can to make sure that he is. Any prayers would be appreciated too.

I know that I've done everything that I can possibly do, as BEST as I can do it, up to this point, but the Mommy guilt is killing me....

WALKING???!!!

Leave it to my littlest guy to wait until I'M NOT HOME to start toddling all over the living room!

He's been taking 4 or 5 steps here and there, but nothing like what my Hubby and Father are describing from earlier tonight. (Yes, my Father is here for work and visiting in the evenings. More on that later.)

I ask you. When am I ever not home?

One random night out of the week when I go to praise team practice. Little stinker.

Let's hope that he struts his stuff tomorrow! I can't wait to see.

"Holiday Cooking, Blogger Style" Recipe Exchange

Apple Sausage Stuffing

Ingredients:

1 pound Sage Sausage (I usually use Jimmy Dean)
2 medium onions chopped finely
8 celery stalks chopped finely
2 large red apples, peeled, cored, and chopped (you decide how big or small you would like the pieces in your stuffing...I like small to medium size chunks)
1 stick of butter
About 8 ounces of Pepperidge Farm Herb Seasoned Stuffing
About 1/2 cup to 1 cup of chicken broth

Cooking Instructions:

Brown the sausage in a deep, large skillet at medium heat. Once browned, add onion, celery, apples and butter. Let simmer until onions are clear and celery and apples are soft (about 20-30 minutes on medium heat). Remove from the heat and add the stuffing into the mixture a little bit at a time. Add the chicken broth (or turkey drippings from pan) to add moisture to the mixture. Use your preference as to how much to add.

Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes or until brown on top.

As I said...there is not one holiday in my family that I can not remember this dish. I have three brothers, and we now literally *fight* over the left-overs! I get cravings for it during the middle of the year and bust out my crock-pot to make a turkey breast with all of the fixins'...and this is the high point of the meal!!

I hope you enjoy...sorry for the "tardy" post..it's been a cRRAAAAZzzzy day!!!

Don't forget to check back at Overwhelmed With Joy to see all of the YUMMINESS that has been shared in blog-land! Bring on the holidays...my taste buds are SO READY!!!

Holiday Cooking, Blogger Style: Recipe Exchange

I just wanted to let you all know that I am going to be participating in this recipe exchange tomorrow, Monday, October 2nd. Overwhelmed With Joy is hosting it, so if you'd like to participate, hop on over and check it out!!

I can't wait to share my family's Apple Sausage Stuffing recipe with everyone!! It's not a holiday meal with out it in my family!

Until tomorrow!! (unless something REALLY interesting happens between now and then!)

An Amazing Blog From Space

How AWESOME is this????

It's so wonderful to read about someone finally acheiving their dream, and such a big one at that!!

Check out the Anousheh Ansari Space Blog . She is the first female tourist in space, and she blogged while she was up there!!!

The way that she sees the world, and describes her experience is so inspiring.

I wish I had dreams so big.....

Rest in Peace Sweet Girl

I received a call from the vet today that Holly's "cremains" were here, so we rushed over to get them.

I think it's really beautiful.

I don't quite know what to tell Colin about it.

I stopped myself short of saying, "We're going to pick up Holly" because then I would have explain how the Holly that he remembers actually fits into this box. He knows that she died, and that's she's gone to heaven, but I just don't think that I'm quite ready to explain cremation to my three year old.

Any suggestions?

If he asks, I don't want to tip-toe around it. I believe in being honest. I just don't want to freak him out by telling him that her body was all burned up. I can imagine the nightmares that would result.

Hmmmm.

Off to research, "explaining cremation to your pre-schooler"......

Velcro: Good For Clothes, Not for Mommas

The last few days have been, ahem, "challenging" to say the least.

My littlest man, Landon, seems to have hit a patch of, "I must be velcroed to Mommy or I will scream to all bloody living hell so that everyone knows how horrible of a Mother she is", stage.

Not so much fun for Momma, I have to say.

I was looking forward to a morning of "me" time after these last few days of velcro-hell, and lucky me, Colin wakes up with a cough and nose that rivals niagra falls. Poor little guy. Sooooo, pre-school is out of the question for the day. Unlike some mother's at our preschool, we try to keep our germs here (arrgh!...another post!) .

Thanks to a reminder from Andria in her Thursday Thirteen post yesterday (You ROCK girl!), off we went to Target at 9:00 am to pick up the Curious George movie that has just been released. (LOVE that movie by the way, in case some of you other Mommas haven't seen it!)

AH!!! It seems that maybe, just maybe, my luck is changing! It was on sale for $16.99. Soooooo, velcro man got his own little Curious George board book as well.

I am now off to get a much needed shower since Colin is relaxing(hacking his head off) on the couch watching said movie, and Velcro man has released his powerful grip to take his morning nap.

I'll let you all know if my luck really has changed when he wakes up!

Future Career Option??

Naked Motorcycle Cop??
(He's going to SO kill me for this in 20 years!)

My other "favorite" question

WHAT'S FOR DINNER????

Ugh!

You know, growing up, I never said that I wanted to be anyone's personal chef or meal planner (or maid, but we can save that for another post).

Believe it or not, I really do love to cook. When I was student teaching in college, I used to de-stress by coming home and cooking a full meal for me, my roommate, and her boyfriend. It usually resulted in about a week's worth of leftovers, but it really helped me to unwind and take my mind off of a busy, crazy, day.

It would be one thing if what I cooked was liked and appreciated by all of the men in my family, but that is certainly FAR from the case. Colin refuses to eat anything other than chicken nuggets, peanut butter sandwiches (mind you...NO jelly...the kid would freak if you put it on there!) popcorn, and cinammon crunch bagels from Panera. Hubby is usually working late, so he's not here to eat with us most nights, and my little Landon. God bless him! You would think that HE would be the picky one, but he eats pretty much anything you shovel in to his mouth. LOADS of it too!

So, I'm sitting here at 4:00 in the afternoon, asking myself my second favorite question.....What's for dinner? I would LOVE to make some sort of chicken with curry sauce (mmmmm, we had a curry dip at the Melting Pot that was to DIE for, that's my inspiration!), but do I even bother?? I would end up having to make something else for Colin, and the ulitmate "yumminess" of it would be lost on my Dear Hubby when he comes home at 8pm and it had been sitting for 3 or more hours. Ohhhhh......

Maybe we should just settle for hot dogs on the grill? Quick, easy, no fuss. Landon will eat them, and how much different does a hot dog taste 3 minutes or 3 hours after you've cooked it? Am I right??

Now I wonder why I can't get rid of these pesky 25 extra pounds?? Yep, I agree. I think it would be the kid friendly, easy, no fuss dinners that pay no mind to taste, fat, or calories.

Now...what was for dinner??? Damn!

Pick up lines at Books A Million

(Colin)....."What's your name"

(Random girl)....."Parker Laney Smith"

(Colin)....."Hi, My name's Colin"

(Colin)....."How old are you?"

(Random girl)....."I'm three"

(Colin)....."Me too"

(Colin)....."Wanna play with this train?"

Random girl then proceeds to flirt with his little brother....do I see the future playing out in this episode????

Mommy comment Number 1: Since when did my boy get to be so grown up??

Mommy comment Number 2: Girls are the DEVIL!!!!!!

Do we have to go back to real life?

Despite the obvious upset that we had at the start of our vacation, all in all, it was a good one. I don't know if I told you that this is the very first one that we have taken as a family...JUST the four of us. It's been long over-due.

Usually, we would "piggy back" on beach houses or lake houses that family would rent for a week or so. Our last vacation like that was a trip to the Outer Banks with my Dad, Stepmom, and the rest of my respective family. It was a beautiful, HUGE, house, on the beach. The only problem was the weather sucked (end of April beginning of May and COLD!), and having to deal with so many personalities was AWFUL. Don't get me wrong. I love my family, but distance is something that definitely is a good thing for us.

When we got home from that "vacation", we decided to have one of our own, and I'm so glad that we did. We stayed in Myrtle Beach, at a 3 bedroom condo. It wasn't what I would call a really nice place, but it was functional. It was on the beach, had a pool, close to restaurants and attractions, and *relatively* clean.

Here is a picture of me and Landon. It's one of those RARE photos that actually prove that I was there! Pretty much 90% of the pictures were taken by me, so I'm surprised to even come home with one that I'm in!


Colin LOVE, love, LOOOOOOVED, the beach. He and Kelly were out there pretty much every day digging in the sand and playing in the waves. Landon wasn't a fan at first, but changed his mind the second day out there. He loved destroying the sand castles that Kelly and Colin would build, and sitting in the huge holes that would result from their digging. Once he discovered the surf and the waves, he would crawl RIGHT out in to the water! We had to watch him closely to make sure that he wasn't knocked over...but he loved it when he was.

One of our last nights there, we went to The Melting Pot. It was Kelly's idea. I had my reservations as to how the kids would do, but it was probably the most fun evening of them all! Colin loved dipping our food for us. Of course, he opted for one of the "delicacies" from the McDonald's Menu that we bought on our WAY to the Melting Pot, but he loved helping us eat our fondue. Landon munched on the fruit and veggies served with our dinner. Here's my bunch of crazy guys that night playing around at the table. Napkin for a hat anyone??

I have a feeling that the restaurant was probably happy to see us go once our dinner was over. I don't care though, to be truly honest. I just loved being with my family.

Our purpose for this vacation was to create some wonderful memories, and THAT, my friends, is exactly what we did!

Home Safe, Sound, and Sad

Well, we made it home from the beach today. It feels good, but I can tell that some"one" is missing. I just wanted to share a picture of her, so you all could see just how beautiful she was.

I keep waiting to hear the click of her claws on the hardwoods, or hear her whimper to go out. Our bedroom just seems so empty without her lying in the corner under the window.

I know to some people she was just a dog....but to us, she was a member of the family.

I also wanted to just say how impressed I am at the vet that handled her care. We racked up probably around $1000 in total costs for just the few days that she was there, but we have yet to receive a bill...even after being out of town for a full week.

Upon our return home though, in the huge stack of mail that our neighbor gathered for us, we found two cards of condolences from both of the Docs that treated her.

How wonderful is that??

Still here, just taking in the rays and the sunshine

Hi everyone!

Yep, I'm still here. We're at the beach, and I have VERY limited internet access. It's been a wonderful week with just me and my 3 boys (yes, that includes Hubby!). Colin has caught a cold, but we're dealing with it. He's worst at night, so I've just been dosing him with meds up as best I can so he (and WE) can sleep.

Landon and Colin absolutely LOVE the beach, and it's so wonderful to be able to relax and enjoy my family. No pressures of cleaning, cooking, or figuring out what to do here. We've eaten out every night (which actually I'm a little tired of believe it or not!), and just taken it E.....A.....S.....Y. We've needed this for a long time, let me tell ya!

I don't look forward to returning to real life. Especially going back to the house and really, REALLY, realizing that Holly girl won't be there. Colin hasn't said that much about it, although we were honest with him about what happened. I think he will say a little more once we get home and he really notices the change as well.

It's been a nice diversion in the mean time though.

I have loads of pictures and video to share once I'm able! I can't wait to share them with you!

Goodbye to a beloved friend

Well, I was hoping to come on with an uplifting, happy, update, but the news is not as you or I would have hoped.

On Saturday, we said goodbye to our dear little girl, Holly. She will be terribly missed, but I also know that she is no longer in pain, and is finally with her true owner...my Grandfather. He was waiting for her the minute she left us...I know that for sure.

We received a call from the "on call" vet for the weekend on Friday night. They knew that we were leaving Saturday for the beach, and that we wanted to give her treatment over the weekend to see if she would improve. This also meant that if something were to go "wrong", that we wouldn't be able to say our goodbyes and be with her if she had to be put down.

He said that he was 99% sure that he felt a mass near where her liver is, and that he was certain, based on her rising bilirubin levels, that meant liver failure and probably cancer. He gave us the option of referring her to a specialist for more testing and 24/7 monitoring, but he felt sure that even if we could find the cause of her illness, that we were looking at something terminal. Her gums and eyes were beginning to yellow, and she was becoming more and more depressed as the days wore on.

We went in on Saturday morning and spent a good 45 minutes with her before we made the decision.

It's one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do.

I was with her, holding her head, and whispering how much we loved her as she passed on. I sang her the lullaby that I have sung to my boys since the day they were born. I hope it comforted her.

I love her, and I miss her so much.

We decided to have her cremated, and we are going to take her ashes to where my Grandfather and Grandmother are buried...so she can be right where she should be, with them.

They did an autopsy, and the vet called us right away to let us know that yes, in fact, it was liver cancer, and that he truly feels that we did what was best for her . He was shocked that she had even made it this far with how "ravaged" her liver was.

I take comfort in this:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here,

that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine,

and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor.

Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again,

just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content,

except for one small thing;

they each miss someone very special to them,

who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together,

but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.

His bright eyes are intent.

His eager body quivers.

Suddenly he begins to run from the group,

flying over the green grass,

his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted,

and when you and your special friend finally meet,

you cling together in joyous reunion,

to be parted again.

The happy kisses rain upon your face;

your hands again caress the beloved head,

and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet,

so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Holly's story is a little different though. I know that my Grandfather was there waiting for her...to walk her over the bridge, and through those green pastures, and I will see them both again....one day soon.

Holly Dog Update

Well, we just got the test results back from the vet, and it doesn't look good.

Her white blood cell count is off the charts, which indicates a really serious infection. Her kidney and liver functions are all wacko, so they think that she may be dealing with Leptospirosis. Pretty much, they're calling for more tests to determine if that's what it is, but if it quacks like a duck...normally it is one.

We're leaving for the beach tomorrow (something that's been in the works for 5 or 6 months now and already paid for), but we're going to go ahead and keep her hospitalized and treat her aggressively with antibiotics to fight the infection and give her IV fluids. We'll have the test results back on Saturday for the Leptospirosis. On Monday, we're going to see how she is responding the the meds....and make a decision from there. It's about $150 a night for all of this...not to mention the tests at $100 a pop. Worst case scenario if she's still bad off on Monday....it's the big E word. It's killing me that we might have to do that, and not be here with her. I'm just so glad that Hubby is supporting us giving her at least some sort of chance.

We went to see her today and hug and love on her. She just lay there and shook. Poor, sweet, thing. I'm going to go back tomorrow and see her before we leave for the beach. I'm just praying that she'll take a turn for the BETTER tonight, so we can at least have some hope for her. We'll see.

I just wish I had all the money in the world to try anything and everything. I hope she knows how much we love her.

When is Enough, Enough??

To all of you animal lovers out there, the answer may be, there's never enough. To me, it's just not that simple.

My poor, sweet, little dog Holly, is very sick. For the last few days she's been having horrible bouts of diarrhea (lovely..I hope you're not eating while reading),been very lethargic, and just not her normal self. Mind you, it's hard enough for a PERSON to make it to the bathroom while having horrible diarrhea, but a dog, well, use your imagination. Our bedroom turned IN to her bathroom. (It doesn't give me high hopes about the future sale of our home by the way, but that's another post.)

A little background on Holly. She's 12 years old. We "inherited" her from my Grandfather after he died. She was his pride and joy, and Holly took wonderful care of him in his final days. She's very sweet and gentle and stays out of the kids' way. She's happy to be inside and goes out only to do her business and comes right back in. She's just not interested in walks or running or playing anymore. We used to try, but she would give us this look of, "yeah...you're freakin' crazy" anytime we'd invite her to go outside with us.

So, anyway, back to today. I broke down this morning and called the vet to set up a time to take her in. I wanted to go and stay with her while they checked her out, but with two little guys in tow, that made it pretty much impossible. Especially considering one guy is still crawling and the other was bound to climb the walls while we waited, not to mention my poor sick dog...half covered in POOP....they agreed to let me drop her off and check her out.

I got the call about an hour later that they needed to run some tests and do some x-rays. That was expected. I asked how MUCH said tests and x-rays would cost, and was informed that it would be around $200 (gulp). Well, we want her better, we don't want her to suffer, so, I okay the tests and x-rays.

This afternoon, I got another call from the vet. They have found several things going on with her. What I managed to get down on paper was this: she has kidney stones, her liver is very small, her bilirubin levels are up, and she's dehydrated. They ruled out that she was in any kind of "system failure", but her white/red blood cell count wouldn't even register on their machines, so they're sending off a sample to see what they can find. The vet wanted to keep her overnight (another $150) to do IV fluids and start her on a round of antibiotics.

Thinking of my Grandfather, of my little boys (who LOVE her dearly), and my "Doggie Mommy guilt", I okay this treatment. We should know tomorrow if she's on the mend, or if she is still sick.

So THIS is my dilema. When is enough, enough? Unfortunatley, we do not have medical insurance for our dog. I can just hear the cash register, "cha-ching, cha-ching" in my head every time I talk to the vet. I hate to sound heartless....but I just don't know if we have the $$$$$ to treat her. I love this dog. My kids love this dog. The thought of giving up on her kills me because I feel like my Grandfather is looking down on me shaking his head in disbelief at the mere notion of it.

I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid that we could pay all of this money (which we know is already at $350 if not more), and we'll turn around and it will be something else in a month or two.

Do I give up on her? Do we rack up innumerous bills trying to make her better for the next month or two, simply to have something else happen and add on to the bills?

She's 12 years old. She's had a good life.

I just don't know where to go from here. Poor little girl.

Where's the Ark???

So it's been raining. Raining HARD. ALL day long.

I really hate to knock it, but let me tell you just how MUCH it sucks to try and get two children in and out of the car in the pouring down rain. It. sucks. I also need to run to the grocery store, and I'm REALLY looking for a reason not to go. C'mon...you guys know how much I just love, love, LOVE, the grocery store.

Colin had school this morning and Landon and I had breakfast out. It was nice. It's kind of cool to be able to have some one on one time with my littlest fella every now and then. I can't get over how much of a flirt he is. I pretty much turn his high chair out to the restaurant and have to reach around to feed him because he is so engrossed in waving and grinning to each and every person that walks by. When Colin is with us, it's kind of sad, because everyone talks about how CUUUUUTE Landon is, and poor Colin is sitting there watching it all being ignored. I know people don't do it intentionally, but I can tell it hurts his feelings a little. I always try to make a comment to draw to him in the "admiration", sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

The rain is pretty much mirroring my mood today. BLAH.

Hubby and I are dealing with some "bumps" in the road right now. Nothing we can't make it through, but it sure sucks to be in the middle of it. He's just so damn busy. It's lonely enough being a SAHM, but when he gets so engrossed in work....I feel forgotten. We're also trying to get our house ready to sell, and the communication to make that happen is just...NOT. We've found our "dream home", but there's not a damn thing we can do to buy it unless our house is at least under contract. I guess that's bringing me down a bit too.

Wah, wah, wah. Just include me as one of the kids today, because I'm pretty much tired of being the Mommy.

Anyone wanna take over??

Gone Without Goodbye

I have been reading through the tributes to those lost on this day, five years ago, and my heart is breaking all over again. I feel this heaviness that is so difficult to put in to words. The enormity of what happened, and the countless lives that were lost are almost too much to bear, but we have no choice but to do so.

I want to thank those who have taken the time and energy to remember and write about everyone who was lost. I have been touched, and I know so many others have as well.

I, like many others, did not know anyone that was lost on 9/11. But I feel the pain of their loss regardless.

There is a song by Brian Litrell that I feel portrays what I, and so many others who may not have directly lost someone, feel. It says "it", so much better than I ever could.

Gone without goodbye
by Brian Littrell

Have you seen my son? Not too tall, five-eight

She held up a color copy photograph from his wedding day

This is his pregnant wife Carrying his last dream

He walked down 46 floors before he felt the rush

The rush of gasoline

I can feel the pain

Looking in their eyes

But I don't know gone without goodbye

If I could reach the sky I'd bring him right back to your arms

Though I haven't seen your son

He's forever in my life

Have you seen my little girl?

She's got curly black hair

She took this raggedy anne doll everywhere

Last I saw her over there

Then I heard a choir of screams

And a speeding van

I watched his tears pour down

A father's last attempt at being a rational man

I can feel the pain

Look into his eyes

But I don't know gone without goodbye

If I could reach the sky

I'd bring her right back to your arms

Though I haven't seen your girl

She's forever in my life

Have you seen my faith?

It can run and it can hide J

esus, mend this breaking heart of mine

It keeps our love alive

I can feel the pain

Look into my eyes

But I don't know gone without goodbye

If I could reach the sky

I'd try to turn the world around

So that we could see the face

And forever stay alive

Assembly Required

We finally received Landon's FIRST birthday present in the mail today. Poor little fella. His birthday was, what? A week and a half ago???

I was so excited to find the Radio Flyer box on the front porch when we returned home from lunch. Just look at it? Is that not the C -U-T-E-S-T little trike you have ever seen in your life? (Of course that baby isn't quite as cute as MY little fella!) I couldn't wait to see Landon ripping around the house on it.

In my excitement, I tore open the box (with Colin's help of course), grabbed hubby's tools and set to putting it together.

Oh. My. Gosh.

One hour and an aching back later, I have it together. Barely.

Is it really possible to insert screws into solid wood with just a turn of the wrist?? By the looks of their instructions, it is. There is a picture of a simple phillips head screwdriver in the list of tools that comes with the trike. They did NOT however, have a picture of a burly man HOLDING the screwdriver to let you know you needed MAN power to assemble it.

I'm waiting on Hubby to come home and tighten everything up.

I feel like such a girl.

I've been "linked" in an article/blog for the Orlando Sentinel!!

How funny!! My little blog.

Thanks...it feels like a compliment!

Of course it's terribly sad that as I linked to my post from the article, I discovered that I misspelled the word "Captain" in the title...hmmm....I think that I'll go fix that so that I don't look as stupid as I feel right now.

Check this out.

My "Missing Wiggle Theory" has been discovered!!! Of COURSE, that one is old news now. I've discovered the REAL reason that Greg has been unable to perform.


########Missing Wiggle Theory # 2:

Zardo Zap was invited to perform during the 2005/2006 tour.

A few weeks IN to the tour, Greg and Zardo realize that they are MADLY in love, but are terrified to reveal it to the world. They ran away in her spaceship late one night and returned to her planet to continue their secret love affair.

Murray, Jeff, and Anthony were determined NOT to let their fans down SOoooo, they recruited their friend Sam to fill in for the rest of the tour...secretly hoping that Greg will come to his senses and return home soon.

(***I just wanted to add that I DO know that Greg is not feeling well, and everyone in this household wishes him well and hopes that he is feeling better soon!!!***)

Reality Check

About 2 weeks ago (I think..I can hardly keep up with my days much less my weeks!), we went to the park to let Colin run out as much energy as possible. Both he and Landon LOVE, love, LOVE, to swing, so we started out there.

As I'm pushing them both, I notice a group of four boys running around the wooded area of the park. Two of them were older...probably 8 or 9, and the other two were younger. One about 7 and the other probably 4. As I watched, to my horror, I see them chasing a poor squirrel and randomly throwing rocks and sticks at it. Mind you...these were not small pebbles, but they were HUGE rocks! Almost too big for them to pick up in the first place! The sticks were as long as they were tall. Thank God the squirrel was really too fast for them and could climb higher than they could throw! They were VERY determined though, and chased and chased the entire time we were on the swings...at least 30 minutes. They were screaming as they ran, "GET IT!!! GET IT!!!" I guess I was pretty shocked at how violent they were. It kind of gave me a strange feeling in my "gut".

Their "mothers" were sitting at a picnic table and seemed to be sorting through football jerseys. As we walked over to the play equipment I heard them spouting about how the "other mothers" just didn't realize how much work went in to "this" (assuming they meant the "sorting of the jerseys") and they were just SO wonderful to offer their time and assistance to do it (vomit, gag). All the while, their boys are chasing this poor defenseless squirrel.

A little later, Colin was running around playing, and I had most of my focus on Landon as he toddled around some of the equipment. I heard the younger boy run over and tell his mother something and, as he started to run away, I heard my sweet, SWEET, little guy try to start a conversation with this kid ( Ahem....I'm being NICE when I say that). The child looked at Colin and yelled at the TOP of his voice, "WHO CARES ABOUT THE FREAKIN' THING ANYWAY!!!!????"

WHAT THE F*** DID YOU JUST SAY TO MY CHILD??? (See...it's okay for me to cuss...not others right?) Of course, I didn't say this out loud, but it's exactly what crossed my mind. That...."kid" was only about 10 feet away from his mother when he yelled at Colin, and she didn't say a word to him.

Now...this may not seem like a big deal to others, but it really bothered me. I do my best to teach my children respect and empathy for others, the correct way to treat people, and all in all, just how to be DECENT human beings. I do my best to correct rude and abnoxious behavior and make sure that they treat people exactly how THEY would like to be treated. In the course of trying to instill these values into my kids....I guess the thought never crossed my mind that there were parents out there, who really don't care about the same values that *I* do.

Hmmmmmm, there is my reality check.

When our children are young, we have this "circle of control" (at least we feel like we do right?) that really encompasses their entire being. They're too little to do for themselves, so we feed them, diaper them, dress them, and even decide WHO will care for them. As they get older, that circle gets smaller and smaller. This is just the course and even purpose of "growing up". They make more decisions about how far they will venture out, what they will do, and who they will talk and play with.

I WANT my kids to be self sufficent and happy adults. I WANT my kids to venture out in to the world, to dream and take chances based on those dreams...hoping that they will pay off in the end.

I also want my kids to be happy....to be loved....to be treated with the respect and dignity that I expect them to treat others with.

I guess that situation just made me realize that even though I can try my best to instill those values in them...I have NO control over how OTHER people are going to treat them. This world can be such a hard place to live. How do I teach them to deal with the hurt that they will encounter? I'M not good at dealing with dissapointment and hurt. It sucks! For now...the hardest thing they have to deal with is one of us saying, "no" to a toy or movie, or just something they might want to do....at least I thought it was anyway.

My "control" is diminishing.

My boys are growing up.

I'm sad.

I don't want them to ever be hurt.

I know that I can't control that.

Colin wasn't even bothered by what that stupid kid said. Maybe he's better at dealing with all of the crap that life can throw at us better than most adults, because I wanted to go kick his ASS!

Good for him.

Maybe he can teach me a few things.

Ouch...it hurts!

Whoa....Tom Cruise may have some pretty WHACKED out opinions on PPD and mental illness, but boy did he make one BEAUTIFUL child!!!

It makes my uterus and ovaries just ACHE to look at her!!

(I don't want a third child, I DON'T want a third child!) If I keep repeating it, will it make it go away??

Congratulations Becci and David!!!!

Their beautiful daughter Dorothy Grace arrived happy and healthy yesterday! YEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!

Doing the happy dance for the happy family!!!

The Little Things

I. am. so. EXCITED!!!!!

I just got finished ordering my MARY JANE CROCS!!!! I really wanted to get the army green AND the black, but decided to go with just the black because we *are* going on vacation next week. I figured maybe we should put some funds aside for that purpose. Black goes with everything right?

I saw them on the Today show weeks ago, but couldn't find them anywhere. I just checked on line and they are now available...woo HOO!!!

Once again. I am amazed that the things that excite me. My life is so sad.

It's BAAAACON!!!

He's up, he's breathing (THANK GOD!), and he's eating!!!! Bacon, no less.

(*fingers crossed!*) He seems to be "fever free" too....let's hope it sticks!!

Long weekend let down

I LOVE long weekends, but I hate the way that I feel the day/week after. This one is especially brutal because of the sick kids. It's such a let down to have the whole family here and then Daddy has to go back to work. YUCK!!!!

Colin is still asleep (*hopefully* he'll be 1000 times better than he was yesterday) and Landon is up and around and as squealy as usual. I might ought to go make sure that Colin is breathing. I know that sounds crazy, but I'm halfway serious. Any other Mommies out there do that? I don't care if my kids are one or three...many times I put my hand on their chests *just* to make sure that I feel it rise and fall. I would call myself a little paranoid...in more than one area of my life.

I've got to get some food in Colin because I think he managed to go all day yesterday on 2 sips from a gogurt and "ice cold water", as he puts it. We have preschool open house tonight (which Colin will NOT be going to) and he's supposed to start school tomorrow. If he has a fever when he gets up, then that idea is shot too. I hate it for him, because he's been asking about school for more than two weeks now.

MMmmmmmm....this week HAS to get better than last week right?? This streak of bad luck can't last forever! Well, I guess if not, it's only four days of it right? At least I get to spend it with my boys. It could be a heck of a lot worse!

Sick household and other things

It was a "no party" weekend for us. Landon kept his fever up until early, early, Sunday morning. Thank GOODNESS I cancelled the party, because poor big brother spiked a fever about 4am this morning. I can only imagine spreading this to 8 other children. I don't think I would have been anyone's favorite mommy if I'd done that. Colin feels pretty yucky, but is handling it okay. Landon is back to his happy little self. I guess the good news is that whatever they caught, it's pretty short-lived.

The surprising news of the day is that the "Crocodile Hunter" has died! It almost feels like we've lost a member of the family. He has a daughter 8, and a son 3. It's just so sad for them.... It seems as if it was inevitable though. He took lots of crazy chances. That's one reason my Husband is a CPA....hopefully we'll keep him around for a LONG, long, time! Minus the stress and long hours at times, there aren't really any work hazards for him to deal with.

We have begun trying to purge all of our belongings in an effort to get our house ready to sell. It's amazing just how much CRAP you can acquire...especially when you have kids. It feels good though, so...OFF with the junk, HELLO new house!!! (hopefully soon!)

My question for you all is this...how the HECK do you keep a 3 year old and a one year old entertained AND the house clean and ready for a showing at any time?? I'm thinking it's pretty much impossible unless we just get rid of every toy we've ever owned and offer them a vaccum and a broom to play with.

I hate it when my "gut" is right, at least on these occasions

Well, I was right. We started off on the wrong foot, and the day has gone downhill from there.

Landon has come down with a fever (103.1) and the poor fella is looking and feeling HORRIBLE! What a crappy birthday present huh? We have a 4:30 Doctor's appointment to check his ears and see if it's the double ear infection he's been fighting for two weeks now. He's been on TWO antibiotics, and if it's still not cleared up, this will mean a shot of antibiotics for him ( I actually requested the shot last time we were in, but the Ped didn't go for it.)

On top of it all, Kelly just started another job and so we are "in between" insurance carriers. Lucky us this visit will be out of pocket just like the first one. Of course, we would pay anything to get our little man better, it just sucks having to deal with it.

I just can't stand seeing that sad little face. I hope he's better soon.

I don't even know if we'll be able to have his birthday party tomorrow.....UGH!!

On a happy note...thanks for saying hello Melissa!! It's nice to know you're stopping by! I check your blog regularly too. I hope you're feeling better and you get to enjoy a NICE relaxing weekend!!

Tap, tap, tap?? Anyone out there?

I may be flattering myself to think that anyone is reading....BUT, if you are.....PLEASE feel free to say hello!

Gracias, merci, THANKS!!

Starting off on the wrong foot?

Please, please, please, please, PLEASE....let this be a good day!!! It's Friday, it's a long weekend. I have 20 plus people coming to the house for a one year old's birthday party. Let's have a GOOD ONE!!!

We started off the morning with my Dear Husband leaving for work (late) and having the keys to my car WITH him. This was after having to pick it up from the mechanic last night. MY keys were conveniently locked INSIDE the car from said trip to the mechanic.

Needless to say, I have my keys now. I basicly told him that there would be nothing left of me if I were stuck in the house with two small children for 8 plus hours.

I guess he likes me. Thanks Babe.